And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
