I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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