he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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