omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
MIDGETS
????
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
