it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
