k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
