I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
