Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it was like eating out sand paper
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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