My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
