she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
