***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
