two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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