found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
