So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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