that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
