Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
