stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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