hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
