if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
