I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
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You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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