She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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