Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
