Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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