Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
