Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
