Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
