I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
