this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
