There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
