hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
