my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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