I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
