Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
