Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
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I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
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To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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