Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i think i just lost a toe
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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