she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
