Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
