The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
