Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
