So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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