you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
vagina is talking i cant
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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