i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This is the high leading the old right now
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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