in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
