but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
