So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
