Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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