Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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