Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
