Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
