Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
