You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
