help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
