I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
