but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
