I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
