I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
