there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
