i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
