He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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