you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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