Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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